Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Student Thought to Have Swine Flu Relieved to Find out it Was Just Gas

Fieldston Academy of NYC recently reopened it's doors to students after canceling school for two weeks because of suspicion of one of its students having swine flu. It turns out that the student, Benjamin Horowitz 13, didn't have swine flu, but rather gas.

"He complained all night with the worst stomach ache," reported his mother Esther. "And with all the scare on the news, especially Fox News, what was I to do besides think it was swine flu? I'm a neurotic Jewish mother."

It turns out Benjamin at the Hot Dog stop "Papaya King," and felt horribly shortly after.

"They sell hot dogs, which I am pretty sure are made from pork! Of course I am going to think it is swine flu." Remarked Benjamin.

But then the relieving news came when one evening, some three days later, Benjamin was watching a rerun of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and out of no where he let out what he describes as one of the loudest but greatest farts of all time. Since then he has felt 100%.

After hearing this news, the school reopened its doors and continued with classes.

However, on a more depressing note, The fart which Benjamin let rip ruptured his intestines and he died two days later.

2 comments:

  1. The kid fucking died!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I guess no more papaya king for this horny immigrant!

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  2. http://ladyraptastic.com/uploaded_images/this%20is%20not%20funny%20clown-778076.jpg

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