Increase in Hiring of Anorexic Midgets Due to Recession

Nearly all companies have been forced to cut down on costs due to the economic recession. Some however have gone absurd route to downsizing. Several companies such as HG Higgins & Son Investments have been firing heavier and/or taller employees and hiring extremely thin and/or short applicants.

The logic behind this can be expressed by head of HR at HG Higgins & Son, Frank Wright, not to be confused with the famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright: "We are cutting costs, that means smaller offices. We can't keep spending on bigger desks and we need to make the cubicles smaller. So, having larger employees is not cost productive. Also, we need to cut lunch hours and we can't afford to be supplying lunch, so having anorexic employees increases work time and cash flow."

One employee who weighed roughly 6'5 260 pounds lost his job to a midget who weighed at most 90 lbs. He, as well as several other larger than normal former employees have been picketing outside the front entrance.

Complaints of discrimination have been vocalized in which the CEO, Jeff Goldblum, has responded, "It's not really discrimination. Hey, these people aren't being fire because they are Black or Female, but because of factors they could change. If they lose 50 pounds, we'd be happy to take them back."

When asked about discriminating based on height, Mr. Goldblum refused to comment. But since their strategy of firing fat and tall people, HG Higgins & Son has increased their revenue roughly 10%.